


Enchanted

by ohallows (dean_n_pie)



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Angst, Enchanted AU, F/M, Fluff, M/M, bulleted list, disney prince eric bittle, hockey star jack zimmermann, this isn't really a fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-01
Updated: 2016-12-01
Packaged: 2018-09-03 14:27:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8717431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dean_n_pie/pseuds/ohallows
Summary: OMGCP Enchanted!au -- When Prince Eric runs away from a wedding and falls into a magical well, waking up in a strange world of flashing lights, cars, and skyscrapers, he's a little overwhelmed.





	

**Author's Note:**

> this ! is ! a ! bulleted ! list! of ! headcanons !  
> (can also be found on tumblr: http://ziimmermanns.tumblr.com/post/142589028226/ok-okay-so-after-freaking-out-w-jess-for-a-bit-i)  
> ALSO FANART: http://ziimmermanns.tumblr.com/post/144561260416/abdos-art-ziimmermanns-love-your-enchanted

• bitty is obviously princess giselle who lives in andalasia with his best friend larissa “lardo” duan  
• theyre basically brother and sister dont touch me  
• bitty’s parents, the king and queen, are trying to get him to marry lardo bc it would be an alliance between their kingdoms and they need the peace and yada yada  
• but  
• lardo is like his sister so ew no and  
• …  
• bc gay  
• so he runs away from home because he doesn’t want to deal with reality and finds this glowing well. and because its eric bittle he decides to look at it and he’s muttering about how he cant go through with this and he just wants to get away and find something he can truly be happy with  
• so he looks at the well and it starts sparkling and he leans closer to see it and WHOOPS he falls in like a loser  
• his crown tips off onto the grass around the well before he leans in so when he falls he doesn’t have his crown with him  
• he ends up in the real 3D world that isn’t a 2D land of animals and happiness and animation  
• but instead of being set in NYC its set in Boston  
• immediately gets yelled at by people in v strong boston accents and he has no idea what they are saying he thinks its a foreign language  
o important: bitty still has a southern accent and loves pies more than anything  
o my goodness people are so rude here he just politely asked where andalasia was and he almost got hit what kind of fresh hell has he landed himself into  
o so bitty is  
o overwhelmed  
• Meanwhile, jack and shitty are living in an apartment together back in providence where jack is a pro player for the falconers and shitty works in a law firm helping underpriveleged people  
• jack has a 6 year old daughter named amelia who he loves more than himself (he calls her ‘melia) and him and shitty help take care of her together (with some help from college friends because honestly? pro hockey player and busy busy lawyer aren’t the best combo to take care of a young kid) but it works out and everyone loves her  
o personal hc: kent was the mother  
o just kidding  
• the three of them are in boston for a couple days of jacks games (its a tournament or s/t how does hockey even work) and shitty and amelia are wandering around after the game waiting for jack to come out (they obv won fuck boston)  
o they’ve been staying in a hotel for the past day and theyre staying there for the next like. 5 days. let them live.  
o (this is under a readmore because it turned into almost 15k of words what the fuck. please proceed with caution this got so out of hand im crying)  
• amelia sees this strange but v pretty guy wandering around in full-out prince regalia and breaks away from shitty and runs over to the pretty prince and shes just like. absolutely smitten (plus he smells like cinnamon and apples and thats her favorite kind of pie)  
• so shitty freaks out for a bit but then he just sees them sitting on a bench together nearby and storms over but as he gets closer he realizes that this strange guy is actually adorable and definitely harmless, especially considering how distraught he looks.  
• so eric looks up and sees shitty and amelia is like “uncle crappy! mr. eric can’t get back home!!” and shitty is like “um okay well where you from dude” and bitty is like “andalasia”  
• “gesundheit”  
• anyway so shitty tries to figure out more about andalasia but the only thing he can think is that either this guy has had some blunt force trauma to the head and is speaking nonsense, but along with what he’s wearing and how earnest and sweet he is shitty kinda starts believing him? that this random kid is from another universe??  
• so jack finally comes out of the arena and like ? the first thing he sees is his daughter talking to a random stranger (like sure shitty is there but ? this is boston ? at night??) so hes p understandably defensive  
• plus what is this dude wearing like its a wednesday night what the fuck  
• so jack storms over there and goes to grab his daughter and the dude looks moderately terrified and amelia notices this and just  
• “daddy this is prince eric and he cant get back home! daddy we need to help him!”  
• shitty: “yeah daddy we need to help him get back home”  
• jack is just. hes tired. he doesn’t need this. so he kinda just glares at the guy. eric. whatever. hes cute but thats not enough of a reason for jack to let him hang around his daughter. he grabs amelia and is like “shitty we need to go” and shitty and amelia both give him puppy dog eyes and he’s like. 98% sure that “”prince eric”” is too but also it seems to be his default state so?  
• anyway jack just. he just rubs at his eyes and is like “okay no we can’t take ? random people ? to our hotel room ? okay?” and he pulls them both away and amelia is complaining the entire time and then jack SIGHS HEAVILY and turns back and sees eric sitting there and it looks like its about to rain and he just  
• “fine.” and amelia screams and hugs him and runs over to eric and is like “WE’LL HELP YOU GET HOME MR. ERIC!” and eric looks so surprised that they’re helping him and jack absolutely refuses to admit that his heart twinged a little because he’s been down this road before and it. hadn’t ended well. plus? he’s a random stranger so? chill out zimmermann  
• so amelia drags him home and thats how they realize that there are two beds and a couch in their room, so eric takes the couch (southern hospitality exists in andalasia too) and they all wake up the next day to his singing in the shower (insert first reprise of true love’s kiss) and jack swears he thought it was a dream but nope random stranger is still in his hotel room and hes not actually sure why he let this guy stay anyway but?? whatever. its done. and amelia is happy. so  
• jack has a day off after morning skate because there is no game that night (they have a by) and he’s not totally sure why he was okay with leaving eric (”call me bitty! everyone does back home!) with his best friend and daughter but he’s just so aggressively unthreatening that jacks really not worried  
• meanwhile. bitty comes out of the shower and jack (aka mr rude strange grumpy man) is gone but the guy with the moustache is there (bitty is p sure he heard him get called “shitty” which seems like a strange name) and the cutest little girl bitty has ever seen but they’re both still sleeping so he leaves the hotel room and takes one of the keys  
o he had been v surprised when a piece of plastic opened the hotel door and sat outside opening the door for like an hour the night before but then jack yelled at him  
o jack yells a lot  
• jack has a v nice suite for this so theres a kitchen so eric goes and bakes a bunch of pie because it calms him down and its been a v stressful day  
• so by the time jack gets back from practice there are 8 different types of pies on the cabinet of their room and bitty is working on braiding shitty’s flow. amelia is watching. enraptured.  
• and honestly its really cute so jack snaps a picture and then drops his duffel on the bed and goes to take a shower  
• later that day him and eric go to a travel agency, leaving shitty and amelia in the hotel room to do. whatever it is that shitty lets her get away with when they aren’t there  
• eric is v confused by cars, weirdly enough. and cell phones. and technology. which is about the moment that jack realizes that eric. bitty. whatever. might not actually be playing a joke on them all? and might be serious?  
• so he pushes eric up to the counter and the nice lady is like “where would you like to go” and eric just goes “andalasia please!” and the lady is like “hahahaha where”  
• so thats when jack really realizes that its not a joke.  
• they walk back through the park and bitty starts apologizing for intruding last night. and jack internally is like “yeah okay” but externally is like “oh. thanks.”  
o goddamn awkward child i love you  
• and then bitty goes “i hope i haven’t made anything awkward between you and shitty” and jack really does not get where he’s going with this he’s just like. “um. what.”  
• and then bitty is like “oh! with the person you love!” and jack STILL doesn’t get it he’s like “oh yeah shitty is my bff i love him more than anyone dw u didn’t make things awkward?”  
• and then bitty is like “one day i want to fall in love like that” and jack is like “wait. what.”  
• PAUSE FOR INTERLUDE - “THATS_HOW_SHE_KNOWS.MP3″  
• and then after the whole song and dance is over  
o jack is literally patrick dempsey in this like “why tf are people singing did you all plan this is this a flash mob bitty u aren’t even from this universe how did you arrange all of this to happen in such a short time frame im?”  
• jack calmly explains that him and shitty are not dating and bitty kinda blushes and jack is ? not alarmed exactly but this could potentially be a prince from another universe and honestly thats too much for his mind to handle rn so they just go out and get coffee together (bitty gets way too excited over his first cup of coffee and jack has to calm him down before they get kicked out)  
• “but bri” you ask, “where is the majestic lardo duan?”  
• im glad you asked  
• lardo is back in andalasia running damage control and trying to assure eric’s parents that this isn’t gonna start a war with their country and so she goes off to find bitty because he needs to deal with his shit instead of running away from it  
• like shes not okay with the idea of marriage either but hey at least they’re best friends and they don’t have to actually take it seriously like it might be a fantasy world but the kingdom recognizes adopted kids so lardo isn’t too stressed tbh  
• she takes her two favorite knights from her parents guard to help her find bitty  
• this is where ransom and holster come in, co-captains of the guard and ultimate bros to the end. true frat boys in a world without frats  
o “DOST THOU EVEN JOUST, BRO”  
• so they and lardo go out on an ULTIMATE QUEST in which they can’t actually figure out HOW to use the well so they just end up traveling around a bunch of different worlds until they finally make it to the correct one and begin searching for bitty. like idk using the crown as a homing device (this could easily be 20k words on its own but im focusing on the real point here)  
• so they finally get to boston and their first move is to find any sort of available bakeries where bitty might be. they just know him so well honestly but they’re having like 0 luck so they have to make a new plan of attack  
• MEANWHILE jack and bitty and shitty are all cooped up in the hotel room trying to figure out different ways to get bitty home  
• “how did you get here?” asks jack. “tunnels under the ground” says bitty. “shit man we cant exactly send him into the sewage system thats unsanitary”  
• bitty is also wearing jacks clothes at this point bc lbr a boy can only wear that elaborate of a suit for so long before he cracks so he’s wearing a couple of jacks clothes which are HORRIDLY big on him but they’re also the only available option as shitty prefers to not wear clothes and thus only packed the bare minimum  
• so they have no idea how to move forward from this point  
• its now that amelia gets bored with the tea party she was having in the corner and comes bounding up to them like “daddy! you said we could go skating on the pond!” and bitty being like “sKATING YOU SKATE I SKATE WE SHOULD SKATE” and jack isnt strong to avoid 2 sets of puppy dog eyes and shittys attempt at them so he agrees to take them all skating  
• bitty has to rent skates bc he didn’t /plan/ on traveling through space time, mr. zimmermann, if you could keep the teasing to a minimum please and thank you  
• jack is literally astounded bc fuck? bitty is so fast? and effortless? and looks amazing on the ice? return of jack “heart eyes” zimmermann  
• amelia is AMAZED and she wants bitty to teach her all the pretty jumps and tricks he was doing but he kinda brushes it off after he sees jacks look of mild panic (listen she’s 6 years old and she was half-raised by shitty she is a clumsy person) so instead eric just takes her hands and pulls her along with him as he skates backwards in front of her, and shes laughing and jack is dead bc eric looks really cute in his falconers scarf  
• shitty is just watching all this unfold w a really knowing look in his eyes like. “brah. don’t do this.” and jack cant look at him bc he knows its a bad move but also he can’t help it so unless shitty can help him out?  
• shitty cant help him out  
• jack skates over and catches up to amelia and bitty and leaves shitty to wander around on his own and grabs one of amelias hands from bitty and bitty turns himself around, still holding on to her other hand, and they all skate together and a couple of people around them “ooh” and “ahh” bc holy shit thats a cute mental image amirite  
• so the skating is over way too soon and shitty gives a ~knowing~ look to jack and is like “hey amelia lets go grab some hot chocolate” and jack is like “no stop”  
• so he and eric are left alone to skate around the rink and it starts with an uncomfortable silence and then eric challenges him to a skate-off and they’re flying around the rink and eric easily beats him and they come to a stop by the edge and are just panting and looking at each other and eric has spots of red on his cheek and jack is absolutely mesmerized and as he stares the blush spreads so jack just looks away bc /fuck/ he cant do this  
• and so to try and be less weird he pushes away from the boards and gestures for eric to follow him as they skate around and its kinda charged between them so jack tries to awkwardly fish around for a conversation topic and he’s pretty sure he meant to ask about the whole pie obsession thing but what comes out is “how did you end up here, exactly?” and then he flinches bc he sounds kinda aggressive and he didn’t mean to so he starts to apologize but bitty cuts him off and doesn’t look offended at all. which. okay. good.  
• “um well, my parents are the king and queen of andalasia and they’re trying to make an alliance with one of our neighboring kingdoms, so i was engaged to be married to their princess, larissa (but we all call her lardo) and we’ve been best friends since 5ever u know” and then jack is kinda taken aback bc woah fuck arranged marriages were still a ~thing~ there apparently and he might miss whatever bitty said next but the bitterness in bitty’s tone brings him back and next thing he knows jack is asking “why is that such an issue?”  
• and bitty just snorts and goes “because i was kinda planning on marrying another prince, honestly” and then looks mortified because fuck he didn’t mean to tell jack that?? but jack just nods and he doesn’t seem appalled or offended or disgusted so bitty calms down and they keep skating  
• its silent for a while and then bitty chimes in with a “havent you people ever heard of closing the goddamn door”  
• im sorry (no im not)  
• anyway so they’re skating and then bitty just sighs heavily and goes “lord, its hard living up to what your parents want you to be, especially when you’re lyin’ all the time” and jack kinda flinches because he knows exactly what bitty means and its actually the worst thing ever  
• so he just nods and is all “yeah. my dad was a pro hockey player and now here i am, so i guess. i just. i get what you mean. about there being shoes to fill” and bitty looks kinda surprised, like no one has ever agreed with him on that or really understood where he was coming from, so jack offers him an empathetic little smile and bitty blushes and looks away quickly.  
o aladdin_scene.mp3  
o bitty: “and its not my parents fault, either, i dont tell them that it bothers me”  
o jack: “my dad doesn’t put any pressure on me at all, its just the media and other players who expect me to do all this just bc im bad bobs son”  
o bitty: “but they never ask about what i want and i know they love me but i just”  
o jack: “and i know i dont have to listen to them but its just so”  
o bitty: “i feel so”  
o jack: “its like i’m”  
o together: “trapped.”  
o ((((heart eyes)))  
• so the air is a little awkward between them and right on time shitty comes bounding up to them with amelia and they’re both holding extra cups of hot chocolate and they give one to jack and bitty each and bitty kneels down to hug amelia and is so happy about it like “thank you so much sweetheart!!” and he kisses her hair and jack definitely does not feel something pulling on his heart absolutely not shitty stop wiggling your eyebrows at him over their heads.  
• so the three of them head off to get lunch somewhere and somehow its a miracle that no one has recognized jack but no one does so they’re allowed to eat their meal in peace  
• they’re at this cute cafe place and jack pays for dinner and shitty and eric get into a mild debate around how small eric is and how it would be easy for shitty to just drag him along places bc he wants to keep him  
• and eric is Offended and says that he’s stronger than he looks and please do not chortle at that mr. zimmermann (amelia is laughing too but he just winks at her)  
• anyway shitty is like “CHALLENGE ACCEPTED” and then oh, ally-oop, picks bitty up into a firemans carry  
• so then bitty is just hitting shitty’s back like “PUT ME DOWN YOU CAVEMAN” but secretly he loves it he’s having a great time and its very hard to believe that he only met these people less than a day ago because it feels like he’s known them for at least 10 years? anyway shitty carries him out the dinner and amelia skips out behind them while jack finishes paying  
• bitty is laughing by this point and he’s given up on shitty letting him down at any point but his stomach is starting to slightly hurt but he has too much pride to let shitty know  
• so shitty starts walking down the sidewalk with eric over his shoulder  
• okay so i promised lardo and here we go  
• ransom and holster and lardo have been wandering the streets all day looking for eric and then suddenly they see a very familiar blonde head across the street and notice that he’s being carried away by suspicious mustachioed man and they panic a little bit  
• so ransom and holster take the lead and run across the street with lardo behind them (like yea she can totally hold her own but also shes the princess so they kinda need to protect her u feel?)  
• and they run up to shitty and holster tries to grab for his sword and then looks down and just  
o holster: “rans. i lost my sword in the third dimension”  
o ransom: “its okay bro you can have mine”  
o holster: “bro”  
o ransom: “/bro/”  
o lardo: “wow holtzy lost your sword? damn ur a really shitty knight”  
o shitty: “no thats me actually”  
o lardo: ????  
o *snorts*  
• so eric scrambles off of shitty and pulls lardo into a hug and hes p sure hes crying a little bit bc he missed her a lot and then he gives ransom and holster hugs too and they’re like “bro!!” and he’s like “guys!!!” and they’re like “BROOOOO!!!”  
• at this point jack has come out of the cafe and is looking really confused around at everybody and hes p sure that passerby think this is part of a stage show or something because the two big guys are in full out armor from like the 1600s or something??  
• so eric starts introducing people. “y’all, this is shitty (he waves and makes finger guns at lardo) and amelia, i met them yesterday when i fell into this dimension, and back there is jack! he’s amelia’s father. and him and shitty aren’t dating”  
• lardo nods up and down slowly bc there is no way she missed the pink creeping up bitty’s neck when he introduced them to jack, or the way his voice got brighter, or how his face lit up, and well. she’s not totally happy about what this means.  
• jack shakes hands and then invites everyone to come back to the apartment because they’re getting weird stares and he kinda wants off the street and amelia is also completely starstruck by lardo so he kind of wants everyone to be in one room where he can keep an eye on them  
• so they start walking back and on the way lardo pulls bitty back a little bit and is like “hey we really need to talk about this??” and they stay far enough away to still see the group but not too close for people to hear their conversation  
• lardo definitely opens with “what the fuck bits?? what the hell was that??” and bitty is so apologetic, he just wanted to get away and he didn’t think he could handle it, he never meant to fall into the well and get transported anywhere, much less to a different /dimension/ and lardo just shakes her head  
• “i dont blame u for it bitty but why tf didn’t you talk to me” // “idk lards i was just. idk? emotional abt things? im sorry” and lardo is just like “gdi bits its ok i love u but dont ever do that again”  
• and bitty is like “yes ma’am” and his eyes are suspiciously misty and he hugs her again and she just holds onto him for a while and then they let go and she tries to hide that she’s rubbing her eyes but its still p obv  
• bitty moves up to get closer to the group but lardo keeps him back for a little bit longer  
• “okay so whats up with the two guys you’re hanging out with? how do you know that you can trust them?”  
• “idk lards, they let me come back to their place with them and stay there and they’ve all been really nice and amelia is just an absolute doll and they helped me out when no one else would? im really grateful for that”  
• “bitty we’ve talked abt u going around w/ strangers before should i be concerned?”  
• “no!! it just. it felt safe to go with them. i dont know. and nothing bad has happened.”  
o lardo: “bitty you’ve been here for less than 24 hours”  
o bitty: “yeah and all of them have been with the boys and they haven’t done anything to threaten me so ??”  
o lardo: “k”  
• so lardo just kind of rolls with it and she feels a lot more comfortable that ransom and holster are up there and they’re relatively good judges of character and they don’t look unsettled at all by shitty and/or jack and amelia is riding on shitty’s shoulders at this point and it all looks so good and safe that she stops being that worried over it  
• “so tell me about them” she says, and bitty launches into a commentary that seems a little too detailed for only having known the both of them for literally a day? but eric’s eyes are shining and he keeps saying how nice they both are and how helpful they’ve been (”jack took me to the travel agency today because he didn’t believe me about andalasia but now he does and he and shitty are trying to help me get back home and he really didn’t need to do that but he did anyway!”)  
• and then bitty talks about how jack is a pro hockey player and how they went skating that day and how fun it was and how it made him miss home so much more and how jack made him feel better about it by just skating with him and letting bitty talk about why he ran away and how he ended up there  
• at this point lardo interrupts with a “wait bits you told him everything about this? like? everything?” and bitty is like “um if you’re referring to the gay part than yes” and lardo just “bitty you literally just met the guy!!” and bitty is like “okay yes but he seemed so sincere and like he actually cared it just kinda came out? sorry”  
• so lardo sighs and is like “bitty you don’t need to apologize you just maybe. shouldn’t tell a lot of people that. there isn’t anything wrong with being gay but some people are assholes and don’t see it that way okay?” and bitty is like “yeah i know lardo im not stupid”  
• and then its quiet for a second and lardo just quietly goes “we need to talk about getting back” and bitty is like. he doesn’t say anything for a second and lardo looks over at him and he’s staring straight ahead at jack and shitty and amelia and he’s just. not saying anything, and lardo is like “shit okay.” internally and just wraps an arm around bitty.  
• and bitty v quietly says “i know” and his eyes don’t leave jack’s back  
• so there’s kind of a tense silence but then lardo just goes “fuck its only been a day but i just missed you a lot”  
• and bits is like “same” and hugs her again and there are a few more tears and then bitty is linking their arms together and they’re catching up to the group as they head back to the hotel room  
• so  
• they end up getting another hotel room for lardo, rans, and holster bc jack is rich and also their hotel room was not meant for 7 people to occupy  
• so another hotel room it is - lardo gets one bed and ransom and holster are currently wrestling over who gets the other bed and who gets the couch  
• so shitty, jack, amelia, and bitty go back up to their room to chill out until dinner, and wait for ransom and holster and lardo to get back up there  
• they’re just kinda chatting about random stuff - idk like about the differences between the two worlds  
• and then ransom and holster and lardo show up and they all start bonding and its really cute and wonderful and they’re having so much fun w/ each other and whoops look at the time 4 hours has passed and they’re all really hungry so they order pizza and have a great time and literally everyone loves amelia so much? like shit fam shes the cutest  
• ransom and holster eat one entire pizza each and bitty is actually kinda terrified? like he loves them but also what the fuck??  
• post-pizza, the boys decide to go out and get drunk and then jack is like “i think i’m gonna stay with amelia, you guys all have fun though” and then eric is like “oh i’ll stay back too! not feeling it tonight” and lardo just shoots him the sharpest look but bitty avoids her glare  
• so ransom and holster and shitty all link arms and drag lardo out of there before she can say anything and once they’re gone amelia is yelling and shes SO EXCITED because there was a PRINCESS in her ROOM and she had two KNIGHTS with her and bitty are you going to marry the princess? i think you should marry the princess shes beautiful and nice and -  
• bitty just kinda blushes and looks away and then amelia just gasps and is like “LETS HAVE A TEA PARTY!!!” and both jack and bitty are like “what” and she runs over to her suitcase and she literally brought her entire plastic tea set and jack is like “eric you don’t have to do this” but eric is actually totally starstruck and hes like “YES TEA PARTY YES” and amelia is like “!!!!!!” and eric is like “!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” and jack is like “shit”  
• so they get into this tea party in which jack has a princess hat on and bitty has that really cheap plastic gold crown studded with jewels on his head and amelia is the queen and she has a gorgeous crown on and “no mr. eric i cant be married to you you need to marry the other princess and unite the kingdoms”  
• and then jack smirks and bitty just holds up his hand like “dont even think abt it mr zimmermann” and the chirp is silent but still deadly  
o and then amelia just goes “daddy you could be a prince too! if mr. eric doesn’t need to marry the princess than you can marry him and become a prince” and jack chokes on his tea and bitty blushes /furiously/ and they can’t look at each other for like twenty minutes  
• jack is being really cute and really getting into it, like more than bitty thought he would, and basically doing anything amelia says and going all out and pretending to drink tea with so much enthusiasm  
• and then amelia says something and jack argues with her and she pouts really hard and bitty just kinda chuckles (like its actually the cutest fucking thing?? what??) and then jack grabs amelia and starts tickling her and shes laughing so hard and jack just looks so happy and fond and parental and wonderful and bitty’s heart skips like 4 beats and he just  
• “oh shit oh no no no this is NOT happening dear lord”  
• so his face is basically frozen and he can’t take his eyes off of jack and next thing he knows amelia is jumping at him and tickling his armpits and jack is actually truly laughing for the first time bitty has ever met him and bitty just? his heart actually melts like it /hurts/ because he’s here with this beautiful boy he can never have and he isn’t really that ticklish but he goes with amelia anyway and begs for mercy and then amelia and jack are double teaming him and it ends with him and jack in a tickle fight  
• and maybe it ends up with bitty on his back on the floor and jack on top of him holding his arms down and just having the most pure and happy smile on his face  
• and maybe bitty feels a little bit like crying but there’s nothing he can do now so he just stares up at jack and neither of them move until amelia yells “LETS WATCH A MOVIE!” and then the moment is broken and jack is (very quickly) rolling off of bitty and standing up very awkwardly to walk over to amelia and bitty just lays there for a second trying to regain his composure  
• because for a second there it looked like jack was about to kiss him and eric just. he wanted it more than anything for a minute, but he can’t because its dangerous and he needs to go back home, he needs to listen to his parents and marry lardo, thats the plan, and jack isn’t supposed to do things like this, things that make eric fall in love with him, its totally ruining the plan and -  
• he gets up when jack calls his name, sounding slightly concerned, and pushes all of those thoughts off his face and into the back of his brain, locked up in a tight compartment  
• so amelia wants to watch ‘the little mermaid’ because “he’s prince eric and so are you” she says to bitty and bitty just laughs  
o “but prince eric in ariel looks more like daddy”  
o jack laughs  
• so they’re sitting there watching the movie and all the lights are off and tbf its pretty late esp after that tea party thing happened. and amelia falls asleep where she’s sitting between jack and bitty and her head is leaning on eric’s chest and he feels kinda confused because small child but also he is so content bc /small child/ and then he looks away from the top of her head and jack is just staring at them with an undecipherable look in his eyes  
• “do i have something on my face” eric says, reaching up to see if there’s something stuck there, but jack just shakes his head and when he says “no” its p hoarse so he clears his throat out and tries again and jsut “no you’re fine bitty” and its quiet because they don’t want to wake amelia up  
• “oh” bitty says, and he’s blushing furiously but its okay because jack can’t see that in the darkened room  
o note: jack can definitely see it  
• and so the movie is basically forgotten as jack scoots a little bit closer to them and his knee knocks against eric’s and bitty just. inhales. and tries to tell himself to calm down bc this can’t be anything ever and he can’t afford to fall in love with jack and then leave?  
o spoiler alert  
• but then his eyes are really tired and his head is drooping and no one can tease him bc he’s had a very long couple of days and he just nods off without noticing that the pillow he’s using isn’t the couch but is actually jacks shoulder and oh, its softer than it should  
• jack, for his part, is trying desperately not to move because he doesn’t think he can deal with bitty waking up and freaking on him and he just wants bitty to stay there forever (and isn’t that a fucking /terrifying/ thought) and he’s resolutely reminding himself that bitty needs to leave and that he can’t let himself get attached again  
• but if its his last night with bitty than he figures he deserves at least a little bit of something to remember, so he lays his head atop eric’s and his cheek is brushing against really soft hair and bitty makes these little ~snuffles~ in his sleep and jack finds it so endearing and he just ? he closes his eyes and tries to ignore reality and focuses on the feel of bitty and amelia’s warmth next to him, and refuses to acknowledge that it’s something he could get used to  
• MEANWHILE  
• shitty and ransom and holster and lardo planned to get some more food at the hotel restaurant/bar combo bc one entire pizza can’t fill a person up apparently and they decide to get some food and then go out on the town and get absolutely sloshed before staggering back to the hotel  
• this does not go according to plan (all except one bit - the drunk part)  
• they never leave the hotel bar  
• they are drunk as fuck in a hotel bar  
• and they bond hard too  
• at one point a creep comes up to lardo and asks if he can buy her a drink and her reply is so bitingly clever that shitty falls in love with her on the spot and actually asks her to marry him  
o she shrugs and says she’ll consider it  
o she then talks to shitty about her weird art projects for 2 hours while he nods, completely enraptured  
• ransom and holster become friends with literally everyone at the bar (they’re all like. businessmen who are away from their wives and ranting and they’re having a stellar time okay)  
• at one point they all sing bohemian rhapsody bc that song is in every universe  
• ransom and holster try to pick up chicks by saying that they are knights (hint: it doesn’t work as well as they expected)  
• lardo wins like 12 drinking competitions its amazing shitty falls more in love with her  
• once they’re all drunk as fuck, they decide to go to bed because its like 4am and they have shit to do the next day  
• so ransom and holster head back to their room and they’re literally hanging off of each other like they are so sloshed and shitty and lardo are knid of like ~tense~ because its p obvious they both like each other but also what r they gonna do about it ? (kind of like the comic lmao) and so shitty is really drunk and lardo goes to escort him back to his room and they both wanna be quiet bc jack and bitty and amelia are probably sleeping and also its 4am  
• so they walk in and freeze and yeah they’re both drunk but they can clearly make out jack and bitty cuddling together on the couch with amelia between them and jacks hand is resting on bitty’s knee and their feet are entangled and jacks head is resting on bittys and amelias head is on bittys chest and her feet are in jacks lap and  
• lardo and shitty both exchange a glance and quietly shut the door and leave and once they’re in the hallway they both don’t know what to say so lardo just goes “fuck.” and shitty nods and they both stumble back down to lardos room and just pass the fuck out because they can deal with all that tomorrow  
o “shitty” lardo says as they walk back “this is really bad”  
o shitty doesn’t say anything  
o “shits?”  
o shitty looks a thousand miles away so lardo just takes his hand and pulls him to bed and they cuddle up together and fall asleep  
• ~the next day~  
• so jack is the first person to wake up and his neck is /killing/ him and his back hurts so much but then he looks down and bitty is still nestled into his side and amelia is curled up between them and jacks heart just starts pounding very loudly and he can’t move because he feels so peaceful and safe?  
• anyway gimme like 20 mins to cry abt this okay moving on  
• shitty barges in and very loudly proclaims “I HAVE FOUND THE WOMAN I WOULD LIKE TO MARRY” and jack quickly moves away from bitty and amelia and he just looks and feels so guilty because he can’t go down that road and  
• shitty is just making a lot of noise because he knows how awkward ~the morning after~ can be (even though they just cuddled) and eventually eric and amelia both blink awake and eric rubs his eyes and jack has to look away because he looks so vulnerable and soft but jack knows he doesn’t /deserve/ those things and he needs to cut this out because it just . it wont end well for him, it never does, and bitty is leaving? and jack needs to chill? so he gets up and goes over to the kitchen - where shitty is - and shitty is just giving him this knowing look and jack is like “pls stop i didn’t want this to happen”  
• and then bitty, from the couch and with a v high pitched voice, yells “I NEED TO GO TALK TO LARDO BYE UM ILL BE BACK DONT WAIT FOR ME TO EAT UM BYE” and literally darts out of the room and jack and shitty are like “um ok” and amelia runs into the kitchen going “PANCAKES!!!” so shitty just shrugs and starts making pancakes for her  
• ~~~meanwhile~~~ bitty is haulin down to lardo’s room because holy shit he fell asleep on jack and his heart is doing the thump-thump thing and the thought of having to leave makes him sick and the last thing he wants to do is tell lards that she’s right but looks like thats his only option rn so hes going  
o gotta go fast ~nyoom~  
• so he starts banging on the door and it is answered by an EXTREMELY hungover holster who doesn’t even have his eyes open like he is leaning against the door and bitty is p sure he’s about to fall back asleep and so he v quickly says “where’s lardo” and holster just grumbles and doesn’t even look up he just points down the hall at the fire escape and bitty is like “okay thanks bye!” and holster literally whimpers and goes “pls not so loud im dying”  
• so bitty runs down the hallway and jumps out onto the fire escape and he sees lardo sitting out on the fire escape so he goes over and sits next to her and he doesn’t even have to say anything before lardo is like “we saw you last night” and bitty is like OK CRAP UM  
• “what the fuck was that all about with jack??”  
• and bitty is like “what? what with jack??” and lardo just “bitty you’re falling in love w the guy” and bitty is like “no im not what?? like yeah he’s hot but that doesn’t mean i love him, lardo”  
o lardo: “bitty its written all over ur face”  
o bitty: “i feel so attacked rn”  
• and lardo just looks so sad and she pulls bitty to lean against her and is like “bits i just. nothing good can come of this” and bitty just sighs and is like “i know, i just. i didn’t mean for it to happen.” and lardo snorts and is like “yeah neither did I” but she says it quietly so that eric doesn’t hear it  
• “what am i supposed to do lards?”  
• lardo sighs and says “bitty, you can’t just not come back. your parents are frantic and what about the whole alliance thing? they’ll be furious” and bitty just says “i know” but lardo continues with “and you literally met jack yesterday? like bits i know he seems great but you only just met him” and bits is like “yes i know” and lardo goes “and you’re a prince bitty, you have duties that you need to attend to and the kingdom basically depends on you and you just-”  
• bitty cuts in with “I KNOW, LARDO!? OKAY?” and he didnt realize that he was crying but now he does and lardo’s face just drops and she frowns and pulls him in closer to her and hugs him really tightly and rubs his back  
• “i didn’t want to fall for him, lardo, i really didn’t, i was trying so hard not to but he is amazing and wonderful, he really is, and he cares so much and i just. i couldn’t stop myself. im sorry” and now hes sobbing and lardo has tears in her eyes as she hugs him and very fiercely says “dont apologize for it bitty you don’t need to apologize not for this”  
• so they stay out there hugging and lardo just quietly says “we both fucked this one up huh?” and bitty is like “shitty?” and lardo just kind of nods and bitty hugs her and they don’t say anything else because honestly what else is there to say? both of them know that its shit and that its always gonnna be shit  
• so they sit there for a while and bitty rests his head on lardos shoulder and they just wait  
o lardo: “we need to leave. we need to go back. soon. before this all gets out of hand.”  
o bitty: “it already has.”  
o lardo: “we’re leaving tonight. we can’t - its just gonna get worse, we need to make a clean break and get out while we can”  
o bitty: “i know but. i know. lets leave tonight. i need to - i need to get out.”  
• meanwhile jack and shitty have made and consumed pancakes and amelia is idk taking a bath or s/t and shitty turns to jack and is like “brah we need to talk” and jack just nopes out of the situation  
o shitty: “hey brah u hittin that ~eyebrow wiggles~”  
o jack: *punches shitty on the arm”  
o shitty: “LOVE TAP”  
• but seriously jack needs to talk to shitty because he’s in way over his head and this has gotten out of control way too fast (A/N: like this fucking post!!!)  
• shitty has to steer the conversation w questions bc jack is kinda panicking about all of this and he isn’t sure what to do so shitty asks questions and lets jack answer them if he can so he can kinda gauge the situation  
o shitty is a great friend i am so emotional  
• shitty asks if jack loves him and jack just. his brain freezes as he tries to process it. and he thinks about bitty, who smiles on the ice, who curled up next to him and his daughter like it was the most natural thing in the world, and how he waltzed into their lives a day ago and jack already trusts him as much as he trusts shitty, and how he’s pulled jack out of his shell in a fucking /day/ and he just.  
• he looks up at shitty and doesn’t say anything because he cant, because he doesn’t know, because if he doesn’t verbalize it maybe that means he can still recover from this and not have to deal with the reality that is eric bittle walking away from him and leaving him behind to go to another fucking world and-  
• the next thing he knows he’s bent in half on the ground and shitty is crouched over him and he cant breathe, he cant think and shitty is telling him to just breathe and to calm down and jack is trying to but his mind is stuck on the fact that eric has to leave and he can’t calm down but he focuses in on shitty’s voice and the feel of the cool tile under his hands and eventually he’s in control enough to think about how glad he is that amelia isn’t there to see him breaking down and finally he’s good enough that he can stand up, and his hand is gripping shitty’s arm tightly, he’s sure it hurts, but shitty doesn’t complain, he just leads jack over to the chair and sits him down and crouches until theyre at eye level  
• “fuck” shitty says [thanks jess! her contribution!]  
• “listen to me jack zimmermann you are a beauteous motherfucker and if anyone can a prince fall in love with them in a FUCKING DAY NO LESS its you. SO GO GET YOUR PRINCE CHARMING”  
o jack: “shitty he’s leaving”  
o shitty: “well then give him a reason to fucking stay”  
• jack mans the fuck up and goes to find bitty  
o knocks on the door to their room and this time ransom answers and hes basically in a similar state to holster like he is just not okay and jack is like “um. are you dying”  
o ransom: “yes”  
o jack: “k wheres bitty”  
o ransom: “fire escape. lardo. please let me shut the door its so bright”  
• jack turns away and the door to the fire escape opens and in walks bitty and lardo and both their eyes are red and they look a little bit the worse for wear but as soon as bitty sees jack he straightens up and he has this horrible fake smile on his face and there are obvious cracks across his face and jack just wants to fix it up but he doesn’t know how  
• so bitty nudges lardo and she shrugs and heads on into the room and leaves jack and bitty outside in the hallway  
o there are probably like a least 3 minutes of awkward silence before bitty finally starts speaking and he’s definitely rambling because thats what bitty does when he doesn’t know what else to do  
o and then because jack is INTERMINABLY AWKWARD he just completely cuts across all of bitty’s rambling  
o jack: “do you wanna go to the hockey game with me? i mean. not with me. i’ll be playing. but you can come watch me play. and you can bring ransom and lardo and holster. shitty and amelia will be there. and. i’d like for you to come. to my game. to watch me.”  
o and bitty just smiles softly and his eyes are shining and he holds a hand out and rests it on jacks forearm and his voice is quiet when he says “i’d love to, jack” and jack straight up blushes like here is this cute boy saying he’d love to watch him come play hockey and jack is just. his chest is swelling. little hockey robot feeling some feelings  
• and so they stand there for a while until the door opens and bitty’s hand drops from jacks arm and holster and ransom blearily emerge, and they actually still look like death even though its like noon and they just drape themselves over jack and start whining like “cooooook usssss pancakesssssss jackkkkk pleaaaasssseeee we are ur humble servants pls” and the moment is p broken so he just grins and looks at bitty like ‘wanna help’ and bitty smiles and he’s like the sun, and they all follow him up to his room where they proceed to take way too long to make pancakes and completely destroy the kitchen  
• and there is flour all over jack’s ass bc it has been dubbed Best Ass Ever by rans & holster and there are prob like 30 individual handprints courtesy of the both of them  
• lardo is the only person to not have any white flour on her person  
• bitty got jacks entire face in the beginning, to which jack retaliated by dumping it in bitty’s hair, and shitty’s mustache is pure white, and ransom and holster are just completely covered in it, and amelia is squealing with laughter and she has two big flour lip marks on her cheeks from jack and shitty, who grabbed her up when she tried to run to lardo for safety  
• so the time passes and everyone agrees to go to the game and lardo gives bitty a ~significant look~ and bitty is like ‘yes okay i know i get this’ but everyone is v excited to watch jack do things and be impressive and shitty keeps telling stories of how awesome jack is at hockey and no one notices bitty slip away for a moment except for lardo, and when he comes back (also unnoticed) she can see that the skin around his eyes is slightly irritated and that he looks a lot less certain than he did before  
• and this is just breaking her heart, because shes dealing with the same thing  
o she pulls bitty aside and is like “we’re leaving. tonight. right after the game. we can’t do this to ourselves any longer” and bitty just looks back at jack and he’s smiling softly but his eyes are shattered and he turns back to lardo and nods once, twice, before swallowing and pulling the mask back on with a whispered “ok” and heading back into the kitchen  
• anyway  
• so everyone decides to walk to the arena because hey it isnt that far! and its not too cold out! so y not!! (its snowing and the amount of times lardo says “i told u so” is staggering honestly)  
• but before everyone separates to go to the stands/locker room, bitty pulls jack aside and is like “can i talk to you for a sec” and he waves everyone else to go forward, he can catch up with them later  
• so once he and jack are alone outside the arena he shoves his hands in his pockets and looks kind of uncomfortable and like he doesn’t know what to say so jack is just standing there waiting for bitty to say something  
• bitty takes a deep breath and looks up at jack and his eyes are sparkling slightly, and half of it is tears and the other half is something that he’s kinda terrified to name but he just looks up and is like  
• “jack, I - I just wanted to say thank you. for - for everything.” and jack starts to say “bitty, you don’t have to thank me-” but bitty cuts him off like “just - just let me get this all out please?”  
• so jack shuts up  
• so bitty goes “you had no reason to help me out, you could easily have thought I was crazy or something but instead you took me in and gave me clothes and food and a place to stay and you were so kind to me and i just really want to say thank you, jack.”  
• jack is like “i was glad to help. plus, amelia is hard to resist” and bitty just chuckles and it sounds kind of wobbly but he just goes “she’s a lovely girl jack, you should be proud” and jack is like “i am. i really am”  
• and then bitty goes “jack, you’re wonderful” and then the next thing he knows he’s hugging jack and gripping onto the back of his suit and jack isn’t moving, but thats okay, its easier actually, and he just holds jack a little tighter and says “thank you” again and then jacks hands tentatively come up around bittys back, supporting him, and jack says “you’re welcome, bitty” and just. holds him for a while, memorizing the feel of bitty’s hair against his cheek and how he smells and how he feels wrapped in jacks arms and it feels like forever but it must have been less than 5 minutes before bitty is breaking away with a quiet cough and his eyes are shining but he still looks up at jack with such fondness and jack is about to lean in to kiss him when he hears someone yell something and the moment is broken  
o and eric has his hands shoved in his pockets again and jack makes an aborted move to awkwardly flatten his hair down  
o bitty isn’t looking at him anymore so jack clears his throat a bit and goes, hoarsely “see you after the game?” because he needs the confirmation that bitty isn’t leaving just yet, that he can still see him and touch him and that this isn’t completely over  
o and bitty just smiles, a little broken a little sad, and goes “bye jack, good luck tonight. you’re going to be amazing.” and his smile looks so fake, so frozen on that jack wants to step forward and fix it, but he doesn’t know how to, and  
o bitty turns around and walks away and jack stands there watching him leave until he can’t see him anymore, before heading into the locker room  
• bitty finds his way around the arena and to his seats with a relative lack of confusion and he sits down next to lardo and he can feel how tight his shoulders are and how fake his smile looks and lardo leans close to him, looking really concerned, adn goes “hey are you okay?” and bitty just nods and goes “i’ll be fine” and lardo doesn’t push it and then the game is starting  
• and jack skates out in his uni and looks great and rans and holster are whooping and lardo is smirking and shitty and amelia are cheering and bitty is just smiling because damn, do those colors fit jack well  
• so the game is p violent and jack gets checked a fair few times and each and every time he goes down bitty bites his lip and digs his fingernails into his palm, enough to draw blood at a couple of points.  
• also, jack is an astonishing player on the ice and bitty is literally so proud of him and every time jack scores he cheers louder than everyone else and lardo and shitty keep exchanging loaded glances (but really they have no leg to stand on so!!)  
• at one point, amelia crawls onto bitty’s lap so she can see better and he’s holding her hands and he just looks like this is where he wants to be and lardo is hardcore side-eyeing him and he just.  
o bitty: “what?”  
o lardo: “nothing. you look happy”  
o bitty: “i’m. i am” and then his smile falters and lardo hates herself because gdi she couldn’t even let him have this? but then his smile gets bigger and brighter and he hugs her and says “its okay” and she just hugs him back  
• at one point lardo was standing up during a foul play and swearing like a sailor at the ref for making the horrible call and shitty is literally looking up at her with stars in his eyes like “yes i want that one”  
• so the game ends and bitty and shitty and everyone are yelling jacks name and crying and they are just so excited and happy and jack looks so happy on the ice and he looks up toward where they are sitting and waves and everyone is else is like “what did jack just show emotion did he just smile what” but bitty waves back and he feels his heart swell a little bit more and he just wants to stay in this moment forever  
• shitty grabs amelia off of bittys lap and covers her ears with his hands before going “ALRIGHT WHICH OF YOU MOTHERFUCKERS WANTS TO SEE JACK LAURENT ZIMMERMANN IN HIS NATURAL HABITAT??”  
o ransom and holster: “ME ME I DO!! I DO!!”  
• so shitty leads them all out of the stand, literally pushing through people to get there more quickly (because hockey arenas are a MESS once the game is over) and lardo and ransom and holster and bitty are all trailing along behind him  
• and amelia is on shittys shoulders and he’s yelling something and then lardo is turning to face bitty and bitty’s heart sinks because he knows, he knows its over, and that he needs to leave, and that its happening now and he can’t even ask for 5 more minutes and he looks at where shitty is disappearing into the crowd and feels his eyes start to burn and his throat gets choked up so he just reaches out to lardo and cant speak, because if he opens his mouth the only thing thats gonna come out is a half-stuttered breath before he loses all of his control  
• and lardo grabs ransom and holster by their ears and drags them back until shitty has been completely swallowed up by the crowd, not turning back because he thought they were following them  
• and ransom and holster get it, they do, but bitty looks so sad and alone and devastated that they wonder if they should be making him leave  
• so lardo grabs bittys hand and pulls him with her and her and ransom and holster and bitty all walk the opposite direction of shitty, away from the locker room and away from jack and bitty knows he’s crying now and he doesn’t even try to stop it, just silently shakes and the tears fall down his face (he’s sure the people around them just think that he’s especially upset over the game, but he doesn’t care enough to try and look more composed) and holster comes up and tucks him in against his side and ransom brings up the rear and together they support bitty while he walks away from - from  
• he hiccups and keeps walking, going faster, because if he doesn’t get away now he never will, and he has a duty to his kingdom and to his parents and he can’t think about jack, sitting there in the locker room and waiting to see bitty, because he asked bitty to stay until after the game but here he is, leaving, and bitty can’t handle it  
• lardo is whispering “i know, i know” in his ear and bitty doesn’t want to say anything because yeah, she and shitty had gotten really close, but he really had something with jack and its breaking his heart to walk away and he feels like a part of him is stuck back in that hotel room, curled against jack and amelia and feeling for the first time like it was something he could truly want  
• so they lead him away and he lets them  
• meanwhile, shitty is still pushing away through the crowd and yelling v loudly and then amelia is tapping him on the head and going “uncle crappy i cant find mr. eric or princess lardo or anyone” and shitty is whipping his head around and yep they’re gone  
• so he figures they got lost in the crowd bc its so full in the hallway and he begins pushing his way back through people, amelia scanning the crowd above his head with her birds eye vew and she keeps saying she can’t see them and once shitty’s done an entire lap of the arena he just shrugs and heads back to the locker room to find jack  
• shitty tells jack that he can’t find anyone, that he thinks he might have lost them in the crowd and jack starts to feel v anxious  
o jack: “did you check the entire arena?”  
o shitty: “just. just run that sentence through your head again”  
o jack: ?  
o shtty: “jack this arena is huge and crawling with fans rn i could barely make a lap around the 2nd floor okay”  
o jack: “oh”  
• so jack stands up and he’s all ready to go and he and shitty exchange worried looks and most of the fans are gone by this point so they decide to meet back in the locker room in thirty minutes and jack grabs amelia from shitty and is like “you can come with me princess, we’re gonna find eric” and she’s kind of crying but in that cute little kid way where they don’t want you to know they’re crying? so jack just hugs her and him and shitty set out  
• jack is kinda panicking internally but he has amelia so he’s trying to stay calm for her  
• he’s literally running through everything that’s happened that day to try and figure this out and then he thinks to that horrible conversation him and bitty had before the game, where bitty never actually said that he would see him after the game but just said “bye jack” and looked so fucking sad and walked away without saying anything else?  
• and now he’s hyperventilating and he sets amelia down because he’s starting to shake and its been a while since he’s had a panic attack this bad so he goes to sit against the wall and he’s trembling violently and amelia just comes over and curls up in his lap and is hugging him tightly and it helps ground him, it always has, and he can feel himself starting to actually calm down  
• he takes a couple deep breaths and counts beats between inhaling and exhaling, focusing on relaxing each individual part of his body, and eventually he’s in control and he holds amelia tightly and says “thanks, sweetie” and she doesn’t let go and he realizes that she’s fallen asleep against his chest  
• jack stands up very carefully, trying not to jostle her, and digs in his pocket for his phone to call shitty.  
• so he calls shitty and explains what happened very quietly, adjusting amelia so that she can be more comfortable and still trying not to wake her  
• shitty swears violently when jack tells him that they’re all gone and that they left right after the game and jack is just exhausted so when shitty says he’s going to go get completely sloshed jack just quietly says that he’s going back to the hotel to sleep  
• and he’s still shaking slightly but he asks if shitty just wants to come back with him and shitty doesn’t say anything for a while but then breathes out a no bc he needs to be a bit drunker to deal with the fact that he missed his chance with lardo  
• so jack makes the walk back to their hotel and amelia is still sleeping on his shoulder and that means he’s alone with his thoughts which is. not a good idea. like ever. so he’s trying not to think about it because breaking down on the side of the street is Not Ideal so. he doesn’t do that. and just tries to get back to the hotel as soon as possible  
• m e a n w h i l e shitty goes powerwalking out of the arena to find a bar because he’s really not equipped to deal with this and he feels like he would rather be drunk rn like that seems like a beneficial move to make right  
• right  
• so shitty just decides to head for the closest bar he can bc hes not picky at this point he just wants to be trashed and then he can go collapse on the bed and fall asleep and not think about things for a while #avoidance  
• anyway he’s on the way to the bar and he’s about to cross the road when something small and furious /barrels/ into his back and he falls forward onto his face, only to sit up and see lardo standing above him  
• it takes him like a minute to notice how panicked and angry she is bc he’s just staring at her face and smiling  
• shes also talking to him which wow he didn’t recognize okay shitty get it together  
• so he stands up v quickly and sees ransom and holster standing a little ways down the road and they seem just as worried as lardo but also a little bit more ? apprehensive? shitty cant tell but thats what it looks like  
• so he finally catches what lardos saying to him and just  
• shitty: “i thought you all left” and lardo is like “well here we are” and shitty is like “so why did you come back?”  
o lardo: “because bitty ran away”  
o shitty: “so did you”  
o lardo: *looks really hurt*  
• so lardo and ransom and holster explain that bitty and lardo started yelling at each other halfway back and that bitty had kind of broken down before running off and losing them in the crowd of fans coming out of the stadium + its downtown boston on a friday night so? crowded  
• and they have no idea where he could be and they don’t know their way around the city and neither does he and lardo is kinda freaking out so shitty just hugs her and he feels her shoulders relax and then he realizes that hes whispering comfort to her, little snatches of “its okay, we’re gonna find him, bitty is safe, he probably isn’t far”  
• so they decide to look around near where bitty broke away from them and to see if jack can come help look  
o hint: jack is not gonna come help look  
• back to jacky z  
• so jack is p close to the hotel and he’s just getting inside when amelia wakes back up and is like “daddy? did you find mr. eric and princess lardo?” and he’s like “no, sweetie, they’re gone” and amelia’s face scrunches up and she’s like “are they coming back?” and jacks heart breaks when he has to shake his head because it’s just another reminder that bitty walked out of his life in the most permanent way possible  
• he gets in the elevator and amelia is crying a little bit now and shes holding tightly around his neck and he leans back against the wall and just holds her  
• they step out of the elevator and jack is looking down at the ground and then he hears amelia gasp and wriggle out of his arms and he looks up and bitty is standing outside the door to his room and his eyes are red and he looks so small standing there and jack is frozen there but he puts amelia down and she runs over to bitty  
• and bitty crouches down to hug her and buries his head in her hair and closes his eyes and she’s saying something about how she thought he left her and daddy and jack still isn’t moving  
• bitty looks up and meets jacks eyes and then its like a spell was lifted and jack takes one step forward and then another, and then bitty is standing in front of him and jack isn’t even thinking before he’s opening the door for amelia and pushing her gently inside and telling her to go get ready for bed, he’ll come tuck her in in a little bit  
o and amelia holds bitty’s hand and tells him not to leave again bc it made daddy very sad and bitty is smiling softly down at her and thats when jack knows he can’t watch bitty walk away from him again  
• so amelia goes in the room and shuts the door and then they’re just standing out there and jack is watching bitty, memorizing everything he can about him in case bitty is leaving again, if he just came back to torture jack with the idea of more time, and he refuses to let bitty leave that easily again  
• it’s an incredibly awkward silence and jack is terrified that he’s going to wake up and bitty will still be gone  
• eric looks up at him and there’s… something? in the curve of his lip thats almost regretful, and his eyes are so red and it’s so obvious that he’s been crying and that he’s lost, he doesn’t know what to do  
• “jack, im sorry, i didn’t want to leave, it wasn’t - lardo said we needed to and if i stayed any longer i wouldn’t be able to leave you again, it was so hard for me, i never - i didn’t plan on this, but my parents are back there, jack, and i have to go, but i - i got close and i coudn’t, i couldn’t leave you, i just couldn’t-”  
• and jack doesn’t know what he’s doing, he has no idea but he’s never felt like he has this much control over his body, so he leans in and his hands find their way to bitty’s head, one resting on the nape of his neck and the other against his chin, tipping his head up to jack’s, and then jack is kissing him and bitty lets out a surprised gasp before melting into jack, one hand resting on his breastbone and the other covering jack’s where it rests on his cheek and then jack is pushing him back against the wall and bitty’s arms wrap around his neck but its still soft and then jack breaks away, breathing heavily, resting his forehead against bitty’s  
• and bitty is still crying, but he’s smiling now, and he’s never looked so beautiful as he pulls jacks back in for a sweet, chaste kiss, before resting his head along jacks shoulder as they just hold each other  
• it feels like hours before jack pulls away and looks down at bitty. “we should go inside” he says, and bitty nods, and both of them go inside and amelia is sitting on the bed and staring over at them, in her PJs and looking eager  
• so they come over and tuck her in, and bitty kisses her on the forehead after jack does, and jack is so so screwed because he wants this so much, but he doesn’t even know if bitty can stay, but its so obvious they both love each other, and that might not be enough to make bitty /stay/  
• he sits on the couch and hears footsteps before two hands cradle his face and he leans forward, forehead resting against bitty’s chest and wrapping his arms around eric’s waist as eric tangles one hand in jack’s hair and the other rubs a comforting line up and down jacks back  
• eventually jack calms down and he pulls bitty down to sit next to him and bitty looks a little nervous and that makes jacks heart pound a little harder, but then bitty is steeling his shoulders and looking at jack and the conviction in his eyes is so strong when he says “i want to stay. with you.” and then jack is leaning into him, pressing their foreheads together.  
• jack is like “okay. good.” and then he kinda thinks about it and is like “okay wait but are you staying? like what about your parents and your kingdom and all that” and bitty just shakes his head and says “i dont care. my parents - they aren’t going to like it, but they will understand. i think.” but he looks conflicted but at the same time he looks committed to his decision so jack doesn’t freak out about it, especially because bitty is looking at him with something that just might be love? and he doesn’t look like he’s planning on leaving anytime soon  
• so jack just goes “um. what do we do now.” and bitty kinda laughs but its slightly strangled and hes like “well we should probably tell my parents that im staying here so that they can figure something out?” and jack is like “um are they actually gonna be okay with it” and bitty is like “hahahah i have no clue so that’ll be a ~fun~ conversation”  
o lets just say that mama bittle and coach are ok w it bc their boy is happy i don’t want to write anything out  
• jack and bitty kiss again and they say they’ll figure it out later and then jack gets up to check his phone and WHOOPS its dead so he plugs it in and bitty goes to lay down on the bed and then once jacks phone turns on he has like 10 missed calls from shitty and about 30 texts all with increasing urgency and  
• “um bittle why did shitty say you ran away from lardo”  
• bitty laughs uncomfortably from the bed “um yeah so i may or may not have escaped from lardo to get back here and she may or may not try to kill me um ur a big hockey player please protect me”  
• so jack calls shitty and is like “sooooo ya bitty is here we can talk in the morning im tired and amelia is trying to sleep and lardo can kill bitty tomorrow” and shitty agrees and then hangs up  
• so jack changes quickly into pj’s and lays down next to bitty and curls up behind him and pulls bitty to this chest and wraps his arms around him and presses his nose to bitty’s hair and falls asleep in like 5 minutes to the feel of bitty’s chest rising and falling under his hands  
o Happy Ending Achieved ™ (1 of 3)  
• lets talk abt shits and lards  
• so shitty and lardo are frantically searching for bitty when jack calls shitty and tells them that bits is in the hotel room  
• lardo says shes gonna go kill him  
• ransom and holster are going to go and give lardo backup. not that she needs it but its the thought that counts right  
• so shitty is kinda trying to calm all them down bc jack… actually… did sound really tired and yeah they can figure shit out tomorrow thats fine  
• shitty literally just grabs lardo and fireman carries her back to the hotel and shes yelling at him the entire way and ransom and holster are just laughing hysterically like lardo is literally this 5′3 spitfire and shitty is this like 6′2 dude just carrying her off and lardo is hitting his back with her fists and ransom and holster love it  
• they get back to the hotel and rans and holster just go to the bar bc theyre rans and holster like cmon  
• but shitty and lardo head back to the hotel room and its still p awkward like theres just a tense air between them and no one really knows how to break it  
• lardo is really pissed off and she keeps wantin to go upstairs and kick bitty’s ass so shitty is just standing in front of the door with his arms crossed and lardo is just pacing around the room and then shitty just rubs his forehead and sighs and pulls a bag of weed out of his pocket and grabs some paper and is like “okay come here like now” and he grabs lardo and sits her down on the couch and prepares the joint and lardo is like “um shits what” and he’s like “jjjust trust me”  
• so he shows her the joint and is like “okay watch” and he takes a drag and lardo is like ‘ok the fuck is this’ and shitty just hands her the joint and tells her what to do and she takes a drag and is like ‘woAH ok’ and shitty’s p impressed bc damn brah she didn’t even cough  
• so shitty is like “brah y u so pissed like u didn’t want to marry bits either” and lardo is like “ya kinda not the point? wtf am i gonna tell his /parents/ like he’s? not gonna be able to get away w this? like shits he has a /kingdom/??”  
o shits: “oh. right. and, you’re a princess. right.”  
• shitty’s internal monologue rn: ‘fuck she’s a /princess/ like. this is so unrealistic. fuck.’  
o he takes another drag, then offers it to lardo and she does too  
• lardo shrugs and is like “i mean he’s literally their only kid like someone needs to rule the kingdom and we need the alliance like what are we supposed to do” and shitty is like “well thats some misogynistic bullcrap, you don’t need a king to rule the kingdom”  
• lardo: “oh my god shits thats not really the point”  
• so shitty and lardo are just sitting there and they are kind of in a haze of weed and shitty is leaning against lardo and he never noticed how good she smells before now so he just kind of snuggles closer and lardo is like. yeah she’s high but she’s also REALLY tense like wow  
• and she kinda leans away from shitty and then he whimpers and shes like “shitty we really cant do this” like really quietly and shitty’s like ~shrugs~ “eh i could go back with you”  
• and theres lowkey like 5 minutes of stunned silence from lardo as she stares down at shitty and shes like “um. what”  
• and shitty sits up and is like “yeah sure i mean if bitty wants to stay here then jack doesn’t need any more help w/ amelia like bits can handle that. like sure being a lawyer is fun but im totally ok being supported by my rich queen wife. plus i can help w policymaking like fuck yeah”  
• and lardo is like “shitty ur actually crazy like this is insane” and he just shrugs and he’s like ‘yeah but im p sure ur the one for me so y wouldn’t i jump on this first chance i get”  
• and he’s p sure lardo is kinda crying but then she leans forward and kisses him and yeah ok this is what he’s been waiting for and then they’re actually kissing and he’s loving it and sure he’s high but this is the best he’s ever felt and he’s laughing and everything is messy and awkward and he loves it and lardo is laughing and she’s hugging him and they’re just sitting next to each other and they’re so excited and in love and its ridiculous i swear  
o Happy Ending Achieved ™ (2 of 3!!)  
• ransom and holster. lets talk about them  
o they get really drunk and they have a conversation about what they’re gonna do next  
• rans to holster: so what are the chances that bitty stays  
• holster to rans: yeah he’s not leaving good luck with that  
• rans to holster: $20 says that shitty comes back w us  
• holster to rans: well obviously  
• the next conversation happens entirely in forms of “bro”  
o ransom: “bro?” (read: do you wanna go back?)  
o holster: “bro…?” (read: i dunno, do you? i wouldn’t mind staying)  
o ransom: “…bro…” (read: i think i wanna go back)  
o holster: “bro?” (read: wait what?)  
o ransom: “bro.” (read: im going back)  
o holster: “bro??” (read: what?)  
o ransom: “bro….” (read: one of us has to go back with them)  
o holster: “ *tearfully* bro?” (read: i don’t want you to go)  
o ransom: “….broooo….” (read: im sorry)  
o holster: “bro?” (read: why can’t you just stay?)  
o ransom: “*trying not cry* b r… o” (read: im sorry bro)  
o holster: *looks away dramatically* “bro” (read: but… bro…)  
o ransom: *softly* “bro…” (read: im leaving)  
o holster: *angrily* “bro!” (read: JUST GO THEN)  
o ransom, sighing: “bro…” (read: bye holtzy)  
o holster: silent  
o [ransom leaves the bar, clapping holster on the shoulder, and doesn’t say anything. holster sits there, staring at his drink, and frowning]  
o [he turns back to the door to the bar and sees ransom standing there, looking at him]  
o holster: “bro????” (read: you came back?)  
o ransom: “bro-” (read: i couldn’t leave)  
o holster: “BRO!” (read: BRO!)  
o ransom: BRO!!!!” (read: BRO!!!)  
o [they hug. finis]  
o Happy Ending Achieved ™ (3 of 3!!!!!!)  
o they stayed  
• CONCLUSION (fuckk we’re finally done!!!)  
• the gang all meet up the next day and jack and bitty are holding hands and lardo is on shitty’s back and rans and holster are both standing together in the same pose  
• so jack and bitty tell lardo that they’re staying and shitty and lardo say that they’re leaving and rans and holster are like “yea we have friends here we’re gonna chill here for a bit, maybe go on some epic adventures around the different universes”  
• so shitty and jack have an emotional goodbye but they promise to visit all the time and bitty gives lardo a letter for his parents promising to come visit once all of this is blown over to introduce jack to them  
• lardo punches bitty on the arm bc tbf he deserves it and he pulls her into a hug and says “thank you” and she sniffs and pushes him away before grabbing jack into a hug as well  
• they wave and jump back into the sewer and theres a flash of blue light and they’re gone  
• ransom and holster follow them arguing abt which universe they wanna travel to first, and then jack and bitty are alone with amelia  
o jack: “so u wanna come back to my house? the series is over so”  
o bitty: “wait you don’t live there”  
o jack: “um. no”  
• so they make the drive to providence and bitty cries when he sees jacks kitchen  
• ~fast forward like 10 months~  
• bitty is the owner of a pie shop on the corner of jack’s street and its extremely popular and its called “Prince’s Pies”  
• ransom and holster took the universes by storm and they host parties all the time w everyone  
o they also found holsters sword  
• lardo and shitty got married and the kingdom was good and happy and mama bittle and coach didn’t care and they absolutely love jack and completely spoil amelia all the time  
• the PR people had a fun time dealing with King Shitty  
• the PR people on our side also had a fun time dealing with out jack zimmermann but thats another story  
• everyone lived happily ever after bye


End file.
